"Earn A Full-time Income From
Part-time Poetry!"

"Whether You're A Poet Or Not!"

from http://www.funnypoets.com/income4poets.htm

This is the slogan from Arcadia Flynn's website about how to make money from poetry. I think I've finally fallen in love.

Here's her genius advice that any poet, from slam to new formalist to confessional to oblique to language poet to post-avant to left coast to NY Poet, can construct a career rife with fae and recognition:

Set yourself apart from others and be noticed
Promote yourself and your poetry
Choose the best path for success
Write for and submit to greeting card companies
Be noticed (and accepted) by publishers
Promote your book without paying ... much
Have a regular column in a newspaper or magazine
Gain free printing, advertising and business advise
Launch and promote your own poetry website
Make your own e-book
Earn income as a performer of poetry
Sell yourself
Release your own CD
Conduct poetry workshops
Create your own products
Sell your poetry to businesses
Promote other people's poetry
Host and profit from poetry readings

Man, I just NEVER thought that ANY of these things could be employed as stratagems for making fun & profit! Move over Grit, I've got poetry now!

And here's one of her classic gems:

(subtitled: Points North)
(sub-subtitled: Thanks for the Mammaries)

Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble
Mine just stay still in one place
In the breast hall of fame
You won't see my name
For my boobs there would be a disgrace

Sure boobs of my size have their merit
They're easy to fit with a bra
And when I go for a dip
You won't see one slip…out
They stay put…just where they are

And I'm not one to seek much attention
So you won't find me strutting about
In a boob tube that's trying
by gravity defying
to leave no room, not even for doubt

But I sure envy big breasted women
I've seen them at parties you know
With all confidence thrust
In their mighty big bust
Entrancing the men as they go

Though I've heard from a big bosomed buddy
That it's not all it's cracked up to be
She says in frustration
"Try to hold conversation
When there's only two things a guy sees"

Now if I paid a few grand to enlarge them
To, say thirty-six b or c
Would they still look so natural
And could I class them as collateral
Sorta like home improvements on me

Now I've not taken this boob thing just lightly
I've done quite a bit of research
As I try to keep abreast
In my mammary quest
I've found there's a bit to be learned

There's questions that need to be answered
Like cleavage, how wide and how deep
I can have nipples bigger
But somehow I figured
That could poke Sweetie's eye in his sleep

Oh, I wish I had boobs that were awesome
I'd buy a bright red bathing suit
On the beach I would run
In slow motion for fun
To show off my best attribute

Now don't think I'd just get them for vanity
There's much I'd aspire to do
I could feed many babies
When I was lactating
And for convenience, I could offer drive-thru

In a t-shirt I'd test air conditioning
They could 'see' if they had it too low
And if I stood outside
My breasts pumped up with pride
Police'd use me to stop traffic flow

Well you can see I've a lot to consider
For the big plunge, I need some more time
So I'll keep you updated
But for now they're just fated
To stay as they are for a while

And there's my sweetie who totally accepts me
For he loves each and every little…bit
He says "stay as you are
You're the most beautiful by far"
As he gazes into my eyes…not my tits

Copyright; Arcadia Flynn
Email: funnypoets@yahoo.com
Web Site: http://www.funnypoets.com

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