20041117

Dear Iraqis,


The war in Iraq is an American tragedy. While you lament yoru hundrets of thousends of dead non-combatants, we in America have lost nearly one thousand of oru boys in uniformes. Will you pleese send oru boys home safley? They din't all like making snuff flims. We have some prisins here we need to run. It's just not fair to us that you get to have oru finest. You all look like radical Shite clerics, so I guess you get what you deserve and you just have to pay the price for freedom and get Jesus. By manipulating the cords, the mouths and eyes of the dummy are opened and shut. Shut yoru mouth. George Washingtin paid the price: he paid for the cinstructon of six warships. How many people deid building those boats? We din't lament those deaths to al-Jazera, do we? Heck, at least oru news enjoys the soft binds of libertey and freedim. March, freedim! Maybe some of yorus need to dei before you find the light, leave yoru imams behind, and find oru policeis reasinable. I think I want to beat you to death with my bare hands for killing oru boys. I made $165,000 last year; $50,000 of that went to the Federal Government in taxes. $25,000 of that went straight to oru military-industrial complex and planes to brake yoru windowsz. So I din't want that loot spent in you killing oru boys and spreading Iranian and North Korean terrism. I pay taxes here, they're my goddamn bullets, you peice of shit. Maybe you should send them back! One of you fuckrs owes me 25 large and how many barrels of oil is that? What the fuck else would I want with all that goddamn sand? I was a human crash-test dummy, and naked World Satan makes me veiw web porn. My sin he done raped a wouded young boy in Fallujah, but he was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and just needs a little bit of home cooking. A year after Internet porn surfing I was a human crash-test dummy and drove the kids to practice. So if you want to protest sleaze in politics, drop yoru pants for oru boys. Where are yoru whores? For glory gorey guns make people less violent. Send the boys back home. Or else I have more tax dollars. George Bush has a very large penis. I saw it in church on the right hand of God. Booyah. American tragedy.

20041110

I dream of world where I can stand before you all with my deep faith and sincerity, with my glistening, erect nipples quaking with hope, with my ever- humble, ever-flattering cries of fabulous, fabulous peace.

Did I mention that God was fabulous?

Followers